Talking Group (Heart & Soul): co-presented by AFC Netherlands & KoRoot

Intention

To become more conscious about the impact of relinquishment and adoption, and feel what this means to you.

Themes that adoptees face

Who am I? Where do I belong? What do I need? Why do I struggle in relationships, in work, or with myself? Adapting to what others want, Living vs. Surviving, Push/pull dynamics in relationships, and Feeling safe/unsafe. These are just a few of the themes that adoptees face. 

What are we going to do? 

We’ll share our own personal experiences. By seeing yourself in others and being seen, you’ll gain a better understanding of yourself. And you’ll also discover that you’re not the only one. Everyone is welcome to suggest a specific subject to talk about.

We’ll cover the impact of relinquishment and adoption and what is necessary to become more autonomous. As adoptees, we lose our identity, name, family, culture, and country. This ultimately leads to the loss of self. These losses are usually forgotten, but remain active on a subconscious level and can be triggered by similar situations later in life. Grieving the losses is necessary, but it is often postponed or not done at all. Besides, adoptees usually grow up in a primarily white environment that doesn’t resemble them. To survive, they adapt to the alien environment, resulting in a disconnection from their authentic self even more. 

Therefore, many adoptees feel lonely, afraid, sad, angry, powerless or don’t feel much at all. Growing up with a lack of adopted peers around you might lead you to think that it’s just you. What happens in adult life can be difficult to connect to the relinquishment and adoption in childhood.

Do you feel uncomfortable in large groups and prefer smaller groups? Join us at the Talking Group in an intimate and safe setting. Feel uplifted, nourished, and supported during this unique journey back to yourself.

About the event

Talking Group (Heart & Soul) is a collaborative event co-hosted by AFC Netherlands and KoRoot. 

For whom: Adult adoptees who want to deepen their consciousness about the effects of relinquishment and adoption, what this means to them personally, and who want to become more autonomous in their lives.

Date: Saturday 6th August 2022

Time: 1-5 p.m.

(Given sufficient interest there will be another talking group Tuesday 23rd August, 7-10 p.m.)

Location: KoRoot, 125-10, Jahamun-ro, Jongno-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Language: the meeting will be in English

By whom: 강선영Susan Stam (South Korea). Please see her profile below.

Number of participants: min. 8, max. 12

Costs: for free (a donation to KoRoot is appreciated)

Catering: Coffee/tea/water

Talking themes

Effects of relinquishment and adoption; Autonomy; Meaning of your name; Self-love; Relationships; Complex trauma, triggers and symptoms; Loss and grief; and whatever else comes up for discussion.

Sign up

We hope to meet you! Please sign up via this Google form.

Questions about the event?

Please contact 강선영Susan Stam via KakaoTalk ID: SusanStam or susanstam@gmail.com.

About 강선영Susan Stam

I was adopted at the age of 4 years and 7 months to The Netherlands. The relinquishment and adoption caused me to disconnect from who and what I really was - Korean. I grew up in a white environment and I adapted to such an extent that I lost myself. In love relationships I was always afraid that my partner would leave me. I developed a relationship addiction to cope with the pain of loss. I didn’t know how to grieve which resulted in insomnia, burnout and fatigue. I felt not good enough, had no self-love, and was a perfectionist. I often felt lonely, empty, desperate, powerless, angry and sad. Regular therapy never touched the core of my problem, because it lacked knowledge and experience about issues related to relinquishment and adoption. Only when I became conscious about my losses, I could connect with the trauma I experienced due to relinquishment and adoption, and started to feel the pain and sadness. I was finally ready to grieve.

About AFC Netherlands

I was trained by Hilbrand Westra, founder of AFC Netherlands, specifically on relinquishment and adoption related issues. Together with other transnational adoptees I cooperate as a freelance trainer and coach in the foundation AFC Netherlands. Furthermore, I work as a freelance trainer for a training agency.

AFC Netherlands is run by adoptees and people raised in foster care. It provides group work, such as a talking group, personal development programs, family system constellation days/weekends, webinars, and individual coaching, and a training to become an adoptee coach.